Arranged Marriage v/s Love Marriage

[Ayodhya Nath Bhat]

I guess most of the members are single.With this in mind let me ask you " Is arranged marriage better than love  marriage ?"

Guys the floor is yours

[Ajay]

I don't believe that either can be said to be better than the other.

There are an equal number of arranged and love marriages that have worked and there are an equal number that failed.

Though the trend here in India has been for arranged marriages, we are now seeing a lot of love marriages.

Irrespective of whether the marriage is arranged or love, one must agree that all marriages are built on love. You either love before and after marriage or you have it arranged and love each other after marriage.

The church gives you one chance at this and by the grace of God, it should be your best one.

[Melody]

I really can't answer what is "best" for all as this is a highly personal & individual matter, so I'll just answer wrt myself.

A couple of years ago I would have said that I was all in for love marriages (Aj, I don't think this is a new trend at all, esp. not in our community!) but seeing as today, I am 25 & single, I guess arranged marriages aren't so bad either   .

I think a kinda in-between system would best for me - get a proposal (i.e. sortof arranged) & if I fancy him after dating a bit (i.e. sortof love) then I guess I might agree to marry him .

Will keep y'all posted in case that happens   !! Pray for me!

[cfcoelho]

MY LATE FATHER USED TO WARN ME " SON, DONT FALL IN LOVE.AND IF YOU DO, THEN DONT GO TO BANDSTAND.FOR THE LOVE THAT BEGINS ON THE ROCKS OF BANDRA JOLLY GOOD, ENDS ON THOSE VERY ROCKS". INDEED, A ROCKY PIECE OF ADVICE.
MET MY WIFE JOYCE IN 1979 WHILE DANCING AT A FRIEND'S WEDDING. INSTANTLY FELL HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH THIS PRETTY GIRL. OVER THE NEXT 52 MONTHS WENT SEVERAL TIMES TO THESE ROCKS (THOSE DAYS THE BANDRA COPS WERE NOT FAMILIAR WITH THIS PLACE)
WE GOT MARRIED IN OCT 1983 SAFELY WADING THRU ROCKY SEAS.HERE IS A LOVE MARRIAGE THAT HAS WORKED AND IS STILL WORKING.
THE MESSAGE IS, IT IS UPTO THE COUPLE TO KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP ALIVE BE IT ARRANGED OR LOVE MARRIAGE.THERE IS NO QUICK FIX BABA BENGALI FORMULA, AS THE HUMAN CHEMISTRY BETWEEN THE COUPLE PLAYS A MAJOR ROLE IN ENSURING SUCCESS.
LEST YOU FORGET : GRACE,LOVE AND PROVIDENCE OF GOD ARE IMPORTANT   INGREDIENTS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE.

[Ayodhya Nath Bhat]

Thanks for all your interesting opinions.The one by cfcoelho was very well expressed subtly driving home the message.

A N Bhat

[royston]

I'm a little wary of "love" as it is commonly understood... It tends to be just a feeling with no attached committment or decision behind it... And one tends to overlook a lot of things when one is in "love"... Over time this feeling of love fades and then, if a marriage has already happened, you end up in a relationship you are not happy with... I would prefer to enter into a relationship with my eyes wide open... Then the decision will be a sound one and I will be committing myself to something with full knowledge of the consequences... Love is a decision and not a feeling...  So for me an arranged marriage seems to be the way to go... For those interested in reading, do read a book titled "The Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck... I got it from St. Pauls in Bandra... The second section is love is just fabulous....