Discerning Life Partners

[Melody]

I know this is a BIG thing for most single Charismatic people my age. Choosing whom to marry is possibly the single biggest choice we'll make, one that will affect our entire lives, our ministry etc etc etc.

Hence the natural trepidation while discernment.

I have a two questions, sparked off by a recent conversation with my sister:

(01) What is the Church's position on discernment of life partners? i.e. how does it advocate we do this?

(02) I've read Christian (not Catholic) Pastor Dr. David Paul Yonggi Cho's 'The Fourth Dimention' & in it he - as well as several other preachers who I've heard - advocates drawing up a list of characteristics required/desired in a life partner & then praying for someone who fits all the points to be sent.

Qs: How does this coincide with the accepting of God's perfect will as opposed to desiring our will according to our flesh & our minds?

Blessings,

Melody

[Seeker]

Hi Melody,

Speaking from a married person's point of view, I did not find my true love until I put the search totally in God's loving hands.  I finally gave up searching and asked God to choose my wife for me.  After finally being ready to accept His will, that is when I met my future wife, even though I did not know it at the time.

I've read Christian (not Catholic) Pastor Dr. David Paul Yonggi Cho's 'The Fourth Dimention' & in it he - as well as several other preachers who I've heard - advocates drawing up a list of characteristics required/desired in a life partner & then praying for someone who fits all the points to be sent.

Making a list is fine in my opinion, but rather than pray for someone that fits your list, I would pray that God sends someone that fits His list and I would also pray for the wisdom and humility to discern His will and to accept that (whatever it may be).  Just my humble opinion.  The best person for us to marry may not have all (if any of) the qualities that we think would make a good spouse.

How does this coincide with the accepting of God's perfect will as opposed to desiring our will according to our flesh & our minds?

I think you hit the nail on the head.  Accepting (and cooperating with) God's perfect will should be our ultimate goal.

[Satish]

According to the Catholic doctrine, what is the purpose of the sacrament of Matrimony?

[Seeker]

Hi again Satish,

To my understanding, the main purpose of marriage is to procreate and raise children to know, love, and serve the Lord.

Another important purpose of marriage is mutual help in this life and help on the road to eternal life.   Spouses help each other to attain holiness and signify the union of Christ and the Church to others.

Important properties of marriage are unity, permanency, love (including conjugal love), and respect.

The main Catechism reference to marriage is here.  It also has Scriptural references.